I’ve been told recently, “You and Jenny just meet people so easily….we just don’t know where to start, what to say, how to act.”
Well, truth be known….I still get nervous meeting new people, but it does get easier with practice. I don’t want to be too goofy, too serious….just natural….whatever that means. I don’t wanna say the wrong thing, give the wrong impression or get all “spiritual” too early….when they ask what I do. I just want them to get to know me and me them.
This week’s action is to imagine Jesus taking you somewhere….and it might be to a neighbor’s home, who you have lived next door to for years…and now it might be awkward to just start talking to him or her. Well yeah….if you just bust right out with….”hey you are part of this project, and ummmmm…Jesus said…ummmm……”
They might be older…or younger, or different ethnicity, or religion….but you have some commonalities….if you pay attention. Pets, cars, flowers, children/grandchildren, your homes, time of day you water, music, possibly talk about a third neighbor you don’t know that they do…ask what they know about him/her, these are all great things to start talking about. Just have a conversation….and string it together with another conversation, then another. No rush…no agenda, God’s got this.
Great example for this for me personally….is the Sheltons. We had girls on the same basketball team….and boy the same age. Perfect! We weren’t out to “get them to come to church” or “tell them about Jesus”. We just wanted to become friends. Crazy things about friends is though…..when you are friends, the things that are important to you, become important to them…and visa versa. Seriously, I would have never been to Camp Ben McCollough and pitched washers, watched Texas A&M basketball or football, or met Shane Phillips or Richard Taylor or all the 10 plus guys we play poker with, had it not been for the Sheltons. And they, in turn, became curious about our church, our friends, our Serve Austin Sunday and Restore Communinty.
The truth is……I think I know the problem for most people….and I’ve heard this…people don’t really want anymore friends. People don’t feel they can emotionally invest in another relationship. I don’t know how to get anyone over this….but to tell you….too bad. As believers, God didn’t give us that option.
Filed under: Tangible Kingdom Tagged: | TKP Week 1
Brandon Hatmaker
Matthew Hansen
traypruet
I agree with what you’re saying at the end especially…I get caught up sometimes not necessarily with the “emotional investment” that friendships require, but with the time required to maintain them….you really do have to find a balance by prioritizing according to what God has for you from day to day…it is definitely liberating not going in with a major agenda that you need to “bring someone to Jesus” by your own power. I mean, when you allow God’s spirit to move things at His pace, it’s basically like life is a non stop party…(though there are definitely times to ramp up and scale down how much of a “rager” your life can allow at any given time)…
Maybe you’ve exposed a hard truth for most of us Tray: We tend to be selfish about our time and our relational investment. Even in ways we’re unaware of. The truth is… once we take the step… we often find that those new relationships become some of our favorite, most refreshing, most authentic, and encouraging friendships.
it’s almost as if there is some kind of “Spiritual Warfare” going on trying to keep us from getting to know new people, foster fresh relationships, and find new community. Hmmmmmm.
I fly a lot and lately when I travel I have changed my routine. It used to be as soon as I sat in my seat, the iPod was on, ear buds in, Wall Street Journal snapped open and a serious; “don’t talk to me” look was scrawled across my visage.
Well, since I have been challenged by a few folks at ANC to “cross the fence” I made a commitment to try and come along side God in the workplace. They challenged me to pray every morning, “God, give me someone to talk to about You today”. Once you make that prayer you cannot really hide behind your iPod.
You never know what will happen, sometimes nothing, sometimes something. Last week, we were delayed on the ground for about four hours in DC due to a thunderstorm. I left the iPod in my bag and started talking to Brian. For the first 45 minutes or so my picture of him was a materialistic guy, single in his late 40’s focused on stuff. Then the picture changed. His mother was dying of emphysema, he had moved her into his house and was taking care of her, paying for nurses to come in. She was terrified, she was becoming hallucinogenic late at night; life was clearly difficult. He was doing more for a dying mother than I had ever done. I was astounded at his love for her and his sacrifice. She was supposed to die several times already but had not; he did not know why and was burdened by this. I asked him if she was ready to die, if she was at peace spiritually. He said he did not think so. This lead to a great conversation about him and his role in his mom’s peace of mind. Seven hours later the two-hour flight from DC to Austin landed. Brian said, “thank you for the conversation”. I was glad I left the iPod off and I am glad I got past my shallow prejudice of the man sitting next to me. Finally, I was glad I parked my faith agenda with him and just got to know him.
Why don’t I do this more often? The biggest barrier is related to how others see Christians and the discomfort that I feel being associated with the characteristics found in the book \”Unchurched\”. The author surveyed people and discovered the dominant characteristics that non-Christians perceive in Christians are hypocrisy, focused only on \’closing the deal\’, anti – everything (fill in the blank, homosexual, unwed mother, abortion…), sheltered – not existing in the real world, too political and judgmental. I don’t want that to be me and I fear getting labeled when I first meet someone
The second is time; finding time, creating time, making time – whatever you want to call it. I need to tithe my time; it is as precious a commodity as money.
Finally, being a task-based person, I need to put crossing the fence, the street and social, political and ethnic barriers in my day-timer. If I do not schedule it, than it will not happen. I will not accidentally change my behavior.
Did Shonna tell you that is exactly what I said when she said she really liked Jenny? I said something along the lines of, “I can’t handle any more friends. Too busy.” Yikes! What a chump.
It is difficult to balance when you have a lot of people you care about and want to make sure they all know it. Then again, if you leave that to God, he’ll probably take care of it. Just maybe.
I have to say – as a “to do” list girl – I was really excited about the action day. Since coming to ANC a few months ago and having friends tell me about living missionally – I have just been intrigued and wanted a to-do list of how to do accomplish it. What I’m realizing is that daily I need to pray for God to lead me to someone or something and wait for his lead instead of just plowing through my task-oriented day. There must be time for listening and directing and maybe God can’t get a word in edge-wise with all my going and doing.
I slowed down today and really listened for God to bring me a person to reach out to or to care for and he really did. There is this single-mom who I’ve known for awhile and frankly been pretty judgmental in my heart about her. She’s not someone (based on the exterior) that I’d normally hang out with – she is a vegetarian, has a nose ring and many tatoos. And here I am – little miss conservative with a t-shirt and flops eating a burger & fries! I saw her at a party with her 2 year old son and just thought about how hard it must be to be a very young, single mom. She wasn’t really getting to have fun w/the other adults b/c she was chasing around her 2 year old. I wondered if she could even afford a babysitter or if she ever got a break. God helped me to see her in a different light and be more merciful and loving to her. We ended up hanging out for a long time and we set up a play date. It felt good to get out of my comfort zone and really connect with someone I might normally miss out on.
Both my beautiful wife Pauly and I have it pretty easy this week. We are both very interested in other cultures, their foods, their traditions, their daily lives. We visited Aster’s Ethiopian Restaurant for lunch today. We intentionally initiated conversation with the server, who was born and raised in Ethiopia, as part of this study. The food was AWESOME and the conversation with both the server and the owner was very interesting. The server was from a Christian family, we talked about church and the study we are currently involved in and she told us her journey that originated in Ethiopia and how she eventually came to Austin. A memorable lunch and a cool restaurant find.